In our society today, it can feel like there is a lot of pressure to have our homes look like something out of a magazine, all day, every day. This has added a lot of unnecessary stress and caused me to put unrealistic expectations on my home and family. I have this feeling that I’m likely not alone... It can cause a lot of extra stress for anyone, but even more so for those of us with kids at home.
I want Create a Life of Bliss to be a space where I help to normalize normal homes and lives, instead of adding to the external pressure to have your home look a certain way. I am here to share ways to organize your home and make it function more efficiently for you and your family, but please take what works for you and don’t stress about the rest. Everything that works for me won’t work for you because my family is different than yours and vice versa.
I want to share that there is another way to live that has been so much more life giving for me and my family, so for whoever needs to hear this today:
It is okay if it looks like your child lives in your home.
It is okay if your home isn’t picked up ALL the time.
It is okay if there are things out and toys on the floor.
It’s even okay if other people come over and your house doesn’t look anywhere near perfect.
I am definitely an advocate for having “a place for everything and everything in its place”, at least, it's something I strive for each night before I go to bed. When I don't want to pick up before I go to bed, I remind myself that, "Nothing sets your day up for stress like waking up to yesterday’s mess." Even though I often don’t WANT to pick up the house, I almost always do it each night because I love starting the day with a clean slate and I know it sets the next day up to be a better day.
Let’s be clear, having everything in its place can mean different things in different seasons. It doesn’t always mean that everything is put away (as much as the perfectionist in me would love for that to be the case). During some seasons of life, putting every single thing away every single day doesn’t make the most sense and can add unnecessary stress.
Here is a real-life example from our home, after having Kai, somewhere along the way our coffee table turned into his toy table. When I pick up his toys, I put them all back up on the table but they are not actually put away into drawers and cabinets every time I pick up. This works for our family – it allows Kai to walk out from his nap or from bed in the morning to toys out where he can see them inviting him to start playing with them. I have grown to love doing it and always set up his stuffed animals in different ways so that he comes out to see them looking like they are playing with his toys. I love this little bit of whimsy I can add to his childhood.
This routine makes my life easier because it usually takes me two minutes or less to reset the toys back up onto the table and it allows our Roomba to run every morning without getting stuck in all the toys. Now I’m not necessarily saying you should sacrifice your coffee table to your kids toys, but I am here to encourage you to let go of the expectations that society is putting on you that are not helping you and your family to live your best lives. If you are a perfectionist like me, it may not come naturally to intentionally choose to keep certain things out, but I would encourage you reflect on the expectations or rules you have put in place for your family and home. Take some time to think about if they are in place because it is helpful to your family or are just expectations that are in place to help you live up to some idea in your head of how you SHOULD be living. Should is the thief of everything good- it can steal our joy, take our money, and leave us no better off that we were before.
If the rules and expectations you currently have in your home are helping your family to function at it’s best and enjoy life to the fullest, by all means, keep it up, but if you are living up to someone else’s expectations of what your life should be like… it’s time to see it for what it is – a waste of your time and energy and LET IT GO. (Should I start singing from Frozen???)
Here is another example from our home, this summer we frequently were meeting friends at the pool or the beach. Going to swim with a little one seems to involve a whole host of things – I always brought his rash guard, swim suit, sunscreen, towel, water shoes, hat and sun glasses, etc. I didn’t want to keep these items in the diaper bag ALL the time because it was a lot to carry around when we didn’t need it. After a while, instead of putting it all back away into Kai’s room every time we used them, I started washing them and then setting them all in a nice neat pile next to the diaper bag by our garage door. This made getting out the door, when someone invited us last minute to meet up with them so easy because I knew all the things, we needed were right there ready to go.
I share these examples, not to be telling you to do these exact things, but to help get the wheels turning on ways that you could potentially make life easier in your home. The things that will help you in this season will be different than me, but sometimes we can force things to be a certain way just because we feel like they SHOULD be that way from things we are seeing on our newsfeeds or in other people’s homes. I have found that there’s a good chance that there is an easier option available to us if we can let go of the external pressure that we are putting on ourselves.
I would encourage you to ask yourself the same questions I have to stop and ask myself: -Is this what will work best for my family and I right now in this season? -Am I doing things this certain way because I feel like it SHOULD be that way or because it actually makes sense for my family?
Remember, our goal around here is to have less stress, and more bliss so here is my challenge for you:
Quit something today.
Find one expectation you have for yourself or your family that is not actually helping you and let it go so that you can enjoy your life more.
I'd love it if you shared it on Instagram and tagged me or sent me a DM so I know what you are letting go of today! Click Here to go to my Instagram @CreateALifeOfBliss
We only have one life to live, let's make it AMAZING!
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